It was early spring of 2016, I was in my bedroom, the birds chirping outside my window, and my heart was aching to love another baby, but one not of my own flesh and blood. This wasn’t a new feeling for me. It was always something that dwelled deep inside my soul.
I wanted to love vulnerable kids.
As the days went on the aching, the longing, the urgency wouldn’t go away. We lived in a small rental house with what, I assumed, just wasn’t enough space to meet the requirements set by the state. Later that spring I was sitting in that same gray chair in the corner of my bedroom, searching my brain for ways to make this work, when I grabbed a tape measure to see just how short of space I was. I have no idea why I had never measured before but…We had just enough space! What?! How in the world had I missed it all these years. I couldn’t believe it! Yes, our space wasn’t big, but it was just enough.
I excitedly called my husband and told him, “Now’s the time, like, we can’t wait, it’s now!” That urgency was real.
I called and got the ball rolling with a foster care agency. We had home visits, interviews, paperwork and scheduled our training classes. I had this visual inside my mind of what it would look like to be foster parents. I had been dreaming about this for years. I wanted to care for drug addicted babies. I wanted to be one of the first people to love them. I longed for this moment. I had built these moments up in my head. I dreamed more about my involvement with foster care than I did my own wedding. That may sound crazy, but working with vulnerable kids was in my DNA.
I was ready for the sleepless nights; the endless crying from withdrawal. I was ready. I was made for this. I wanted to help these babies heal and then walk along side their biological family until reunification. I would take one infant girl in at a time, love them, and provide all the support necessary to bring them to good health. Then they would be reunified or adopted by another family and we would start the process all over again.
It was going to spectacular.
We started the classes on a Saturday. That following Monday I received the call. It was our worker from the foster care agency and she told me, “I have a healthy 11 month old boy who is already in care and needs a home in about 30 days. Are you interested?”
No other information was offered. I told her that I wanted to pray about it and talk to my husband. I had only hours to call her back before she would start looking for another family.
This little boy was the complete opposite of what I dreamt. He was a healthy, almost one year old boy. We wanted sick, new born, girls. But in that moment my fairytale no longer mattered.
This wasn’t a fairytale.
This was a God given opportunity. We were called to help vulnerable children and here was one that needed us.
I called my husband and he said pray about it and then do what you feel like we are supposed to. I did just that. I went upstairs to my room, got on my knees, and prayed for wisdom. In an instant I felt God speak to my heart, “He’s the one.”
I didn’t hesitate. I immediately called our worker back and told her yes. I didn’t have a name. I had no clue what he looked like. I had an age, race and gender. Suddenly my heart overflowed with love for this child whose name I didn’t know, and face I’d never seen.
The thoughts began racing through my mind. He was the one my heart was urgent for. The one who God had in mind when he spoke to me weeks prior telling me, “Now is the time.” If I would have hesitated even a couple of days we wouldn’t have been an option. That call would never have come. He was the one that God had been working things out for. He was the one!
God’s timing is always perfect.
The count down was on. We had about 30 days to finish all of our paperwork and classes (and, oh yeah, we bought a house in those 30 days too)! Right around the 30 day mark everything was done and we received a phone call. “State has approved your foster care licenses. I’ll be over tomorrow morning at 9 am with him.”
Oh my heart….
I loved him so much already….
Friday, July 17th 2016, at 9 am my life forever changed as I watched a white SUV pull into my driveway.
To be continued…
“Friday, July 17th 2016, at 9 am my life forever changed as I watched a white SUV pull into my drive way.”
A lot of foster kids I used to work with knew the exact date and car that pulled into their driveway that “forever changed” their life. The raw emotion that comes up when they talk about that very moment. Sadness, anger, confusion, some even relieved. Kids even talked about that first day in the foster home and how they were received by the parent and even the other kids.
These are very life altering events. Each moment leaves a lasting impression.
Can’t wait to read the next one, especially from your point view.
I’m sure the kids remember it so clearly! Life changing moments stay imprinted in the brain in such very real and lasting way. They may not remember how to spell their own last name but they can tell you details of trauma with such clarity. I can’t wait to share more next week! 🙂
I love your blogs. I always forget to tell you when I see you at church. Glad to know you and call you friend!
❤️❤️ Thank you! That means so much!
My eyes fill with tears as I read your blogs. To watch you go from that shy little girl who’s life was changed in Kenya that morning with Sammy to the young lady you are today. You are making an impact Shauna. Because your life was changed, you are changing lives all around you everyday. Your three natural born kids, your three heart born kids, your husband, your church, your blog readers, our family, and me, your Dad. Keep making a difference. I love you Honey.
Thanks Dad! Love you too!